“A lady had dignity and grace because she believes in herself and is proud of her accomplishments. She accepts compliments graciously and knows the difference between self-esteem and self absorption. She knows the difference between self-esteem and self-absorption. She knows that her achievements are the product of her hard work and committment – no matter how great of small they are. So while she would never boast, she doesn’t downplay the esteem she earns.”
– The Art and Power of Being a Lady by Noelle Cleary and Dini Von Mueffling
A few years back I attended the “Lindy Charm School for Girls” workshop. While it was filled with great tips and tricks on hair and make up, the most important thing I took away from the workshop was actually accepting compliments.
I was 28 and I still hadn’t learnt to say “thank you” when someone complimented me. Instead I instantly started putting myself down. I know I am not alone. I am sure a great many of you are guilty of it yourself. Now when I am lucky enough to get a compliment I try my hardest to believe they mean what they say, say thank you and smile. After all someone has gone out of their way to let compliment you. Accept it graciously and it can make your day!
Moving on to accomplishments. I find it very hard to believe I have accomplished anything of worth. I come from a family of amazing, talented and brilliant people and I find I tend to compare myself to them. Which of course makes no sense as remember “I am a fish”. Some days for me just managing a shower is a huge accomplishment. Not only is it hard to see anything I have done as an accomplishment at all, but voicing it just seems conceited….right? Of course the more I tell myself it is conceited to think anything I have done has been an accomplishment, the more I erode what little self esteem I have. In order to help I thought I would write a list of some of my accomplishments and share them here.
Ten of my big and small accomplishments:
- Raising my baby brother while studying for my year ten certificate (at 15 years old) and passing!
- Being confident and educated enough to stand up to my doctors who wanted to do an automatic cesarean because I was having twins (went on to have them both naturally without any complications).
- Teaching myself photography (and then teaching myself business, marketing, pr and growing my business from a few friends to a large studio with employees by the time I was 26)
- Passing my Drawing class at TAFE (which was more terrifying than giving birth to the twins naturally!)
- Starting a charity at 23 years old and then growing it to a national not for profit (which I just read has now grown to international)
- Being really, really good at talking with parents who had lost (or were about to loose) their children
- Raising $2500 for my charity by jumping out of an airplane at 14 000 feet (I am petrified of heights and can’t make it to the top of a ladder….)
- Going to see my psychologist this week (even though I was really, really anxiety ridden and had spent the week hiding in bed eating doughnuts)
- Managing a shower today
- Raising my girls to be confident and comfortable enough to wear what they want and to do what they want with their hair.
So ladies – this weeks assignments are:
- Next time you receive a compliment say “Thank you!” (no putting yourself down allowed). Bonus points for complimenting others.
- Make a list of some of your accomplishments (big or small) and tell yourself you are awesome. If you are comfortable I would LOVE it if you can share some of your accomplishments in the comments.
Miss Fairchild xoxo