As I mentioned in the last post, if you follow me on instagram you will have seen a sneak peak of some of these hilariously weird exercises from some of my vintage beauty & charm books. Hope you get as much of a chuckle as I did!
The first two are from “Glorify Yourself: The Eleanore King Course on Beauty, Charm & Personality” by Eleanore King and they are definitely the tamer of the bunch…
Now while I am sure this exercise isn’t that odd. I mean she does look a bit…tied up, but the thing I found most odd was it is apparently one of the best ways to slim your thighs.
Again…I am not sure if I find this weird so much as….uncomfortable. I mean I am impressed she can go from back bend to sit up, but I am worried my spine would snap if I tried this!
Now we move on to the true gems from “Personality Unlimited: The Beauty Blue Book”. I spent most of today laughing while reading this book which has an entire chapter on bowel movements (including step by step instructions on how to best DIY your own enema) and another chapter on menstruation which dispensed some rather dubious advice…including an entire page where I lost count of how many times she used the word “douche”. Some of the exercises are truly hilarious….and so are the models.
I think this one should come with a very explicit warning of “do not try this in a modern home”. This is our 4th “brand new” house (renting) and all the doors fell off in all four houses after a few weeks use. I imagine I would be truly injured if I tried this. My advice would be go to the local park…after dark because I am not sure you want people to see you like this.
What can one even say about this exercise (that is suppose to tone tummy, arms and waist)? You are suppose to lift and lower yourself in this position. Hope she bought the chair dinner first.
My favourite part about this exercise was the title that said “Touch the Toes – The Modern Manner”. Apparently the modern manner in which to touch ones toes is to be drunk, attempt to touch your toes, miss and I imagine the following photo would her being crumpled on the floor laughing and calling for another tequilla.
I like to call this one “I’m itchy, but my arms are suddenly paralysed so I need to writhe around like I am pretending to have a fit”. I imagine this one is also to be performed while drunk.
Without a doubt this is my favourite one. It’s called “The Fanny Walk” – I kid you not. The instructions are as follows:
“Sit on a bare floor, back straight, arms stretched forward, legs stretched out. Now, in little “hitching” movements, bump across the floor from one end of the room to the other” Then, without turning around, bump backward again to where you started”
Doesn’t that sound like
something your dog does when it has worms fun? And just look at the model. Clearly she is rethinking her career choice at this point in time…and hoping some of the drunk models from above can get her a drink to make this more fun than it actually is.
Hope you all got as much of a laugh out of these as I did. Please, please let me know if you have tried any of them and be sure to let me know if you needed to be drunk to get the “proper form”.
Miss Fairchild xoxo