Continuing on from Miss Wilson’s advice on how to believe in yourself, we have our next instalment which is all about how to make people like you.
My own personal strategy is buying friends with food. I was really nervous about making friends when I started my Millinery course so on the first day I baked lavender shortbread and then everyone (except the vegan) loved me. The following week I baked Vegan Banana Bread…that was how I made friends…of course these “friends” are always asking me to bake things for them and only seem to want to talk about what I am baking……so maybe I should take some of Miss Wilson’s advice….
“A Charming Compliment: The gracious woman never says, “You look lovely in that hat!” – which gives the hat a lot of the credit. With charming tact and greater truth, if the hat is becoming, she says “that hat looks lovely on you,” which implies the wearer makes the hat effective. From this remark alone you can govern hundreds of expressions in your daily conversations that will add to your pleasing effect on others, who in turn will call you charming.”
“Energy Feeds Charm: On the rock-bottom practical side the first essential for successful living is energy – physical energy, mental energy, spiritual energy. Today there is little excuse for ill-health for the average person.
Vitality plays a large part in being pleasing. Even one’s glace has a striking quality if there is energy behind it. Besides, if one has only energy enough for oneself there is no strength left to be gracious and unselfish. Weakness breeds selfishness, not intentionally, but surely.”
Given how many people I know with chronic and mental illness’ who are some of the most charming and unselfish people I know – I say a big FUCK YOU to this point of Miss Wilson’s. While some aspects of health are within our hands, a large part of it is not.
“No Cynical Woman is Happy – Or Attractive: In spite of all the so-called realists, the materialists and those who attribute all attraction to sex alone, history keeps recording beautiful romances and splendid devotions. Why shouldn’t we strive toward the ideal in love?”
And this is where Miss Wilson officially lost me. After all I am a cynic and surprisingly (as I wouldn’t have believed I would ever say this a few months ago) I am happy.
Now is the time to dole out my own advice on how to make people like you.
Ok now if you are trying to make a specific person like you this might not work, but what it does do is attract people who genuinely like you, for you. I have people in my life who like me for all my vagina jokes, my cynicism and sarcastic humour. I decided awhile ago (the benefit of ageing – the 30s are awesome by the way) that I didn’t want to have to impress people. I wanted to just be me and I was happy only having people in my life that liked me just the way I was. Yes I lost some people who I used to assume were my friends – but I am happier now. I would be terribly unhappy trying to pretend to be something other than me – I know I tried for years (just think back to your teens).
So lovely ladies – be yourself, I love you just the way you are!
Miss Fairchild xoxo