I just wanted to pop up a quick update as while I have a “Sunday Best” outfit shot, I don’t have the energy to actually upload and edit it.
Liptember day 8
Unfortunately I have fallen back into a pit of depression. My doctor warned me it could happen that I will still likely have relapses. It is a bit like an alcoholic – you always have “depression” you are just in recovery. He was right when he said it would seem much, much worse than before, having had almost 2.5 months with no depression (after 19 years of no break from it) that it could hit me hard. He was right.
I am writing about this here because it is Liptember and I want to raise awareness for mental health so rather than just ignoring this blog til I feel better I thought I would let you know what’s happening. It’s hard when all I want to do right now is hide under my doona. I am trying not to let go of everything and let it consume me….but it is exhausting.
Hubby saw it coming. It all started with my tooth. I was on so many pain killers and was so exhausted and sick (I had an abscessed tooth) that I couldn’t do anything. My anxiety became overwhelming as I couldn’t fall back on my usual coping skills (running, eating and doing at least 4-5 things at once to make is so my brain can’t possibly think about being anxious). As the anxiety got worse the depression started creeping back. I stopped getting dressed. I stopped opening my blinds. I just lay there watching stuff on my laptop. While I am almost entirely physically better I am now back to being depressed and all my energy is going into not spiralling downwards any more. With the election and my tooth and then a fight with my brother last night I am just miserable.
But I also wanted to point out something – while lots of stressful upsetting things can lead to someone being depressed, none of these things caused my depression. I am not depressed because Tony Abott is our PM, I am depressed and it is not helping that Tony Abott is our PM (and I feel sick writing that).
Also would love it if you would consider sponsoring the “Vintage Vixens” Liptember team HERE to help fund more research into women’s mental health. For those of you outside of Australia who have had trouble donating I asked the Liptember team and this is their advice….
“they can still donate (leaving the field as Australia), as long at they have a Visa/MasterCard. Then they should email firstname.lastname@example.org to confirm that their payment has been received 🙂 Hope that helps!”
Ok enough of my crazy rambling. Time to get back to lying around and feeling sorry for myself.
Miss Fairchild xoxo