I want to thank you all so much for your comments and words of support. It really does mean a lot and it helps to know I am not alone and that people care. It really, really does. Depression (and any mental illness really) can be so isolating. Your brain turns on you and starts telling you lies. It tells you that you are alone. That no one really cares. That the world would be better off without you. It prays on your deepest insecurities. Your kind words have really sustained me this week. When my brain started with the lies I could recognise them as lies. I have had clinical depression since I was 12 years old – this was actually a massive breakthrough for me. When they came on I could log on and see how much people truly cared. Remember that. If you have someone in your life that is struggling, they might not be able to share. But if you can tell them how much you care, show them how much you care, you might be able to give them the power to get through it. To realise they are not alone.
This week has been a struggle as I tried to fight it. I have been trying hard to take care of myself and make an effort to do the things that I know help. Running, writing morning pages, trying to stick to a sleep schedule (or at least a lying down schedule), going to class and even going to the launch of a friends shop yesterday. People came up to me and asked if I was ok. They told me how proud they were of me that I could leave the house. That I was trying. It meant so much. Some days I have done better than others. Today I am sitting in the dark in my room with my door closed and hiding under the doona (even though it feels like it is a million degrees). I won’t stop trying. This week I will be seeing my doctor as it looks like I am also getting sick again and I know that will make me feel worse.
So I send my love and my thanks to you all. I will get through this. If there is one thing I have learnt over the years – I can survive anything.
Now onto my Sunday best. What I would have posted last week had I had the energy….
I went to the theatre again two weeks ago to see “Hot Shoe Shuffle”. I first saw this when I was young and LOVED it. The 50’s style clothes (that were all bright colours), the jazzy music I grew up on and the dancing. OMG the tap dancing!!! It made me desperate to take up tap again just like it did when I first saw this in 1992. It really is divine. It doesn’t have a lot of story really – it’s just good old fashioned fun. It was sad to see how empty the theatre was. So empty I was moved from the back row corner (where it had been the cheapest seats) to the middle of the theatre in the centre.
Vintage Black Hat – Gifted from Lilli at Frocks & Frou Frou
Vintage Red WIggle Dress – Etsy
Black Vara Ferragamo Shoes
Coat – Audrey Scarlett Vintage
Wearing my “Liptember Red” lipstick by Revlon (excuse the blown out photo)
One last thing – The Vintage Vixens are just $100 off our goal of raising $500 for Liptember if you would like to help us raise money for much needed research into Women’s Mental Health please sponsor us HERE www.liptember.com.au/vintage.vixens
Miss Fairchild xoxo