Travel Etiquette: By Train

No matter how glamorous the old movies I watch make train travel seem, I just can’t help but associate it with poverty. Until about 8 years ago Australia had no budget airlines. Living in rural NSW meant plane travel was absolutely out of the budget. Those with a pension card (like my single mother) were allowed to travel for free twice a year and in most cases kids under 13 also travelled free (or at a super low cost). I remember school holidays on the train filled with other bogan** families on their holidays, screaming kids, chaos and lots of drunk people. It wasn’t fun. While I don’t mind a short V-line (the trains servicing rural Victoria) trip I don’t think I could handle another XPT trip to Sydney.

That being said, in places like Europe, I can definitely see the advantage of train travel. They have multiple country/days passes that let you see so many places. I might take up train travel again if someone would be so kind as to purchase me a flight to Europe….

“Train Manners

In a dining car on a day’s journey – especially on the Atlantic seaboard – you usually do not have to speak to your companion at table, beyond a possible ” May I have the salt, please?” But in a country hotel or on a transcontinental journey, if you happen to sit next to the same person for a number of meals, it is extremely snobbish and bad manners to sit in wooden silence. 

During the day in a sleeping car, the seat which faces forwards belongs to the occupant of the lower berth; the occupant of the upper berth rides backward. It would be an act of courtesy for the lady who has the right to the seat facing forward to ask her companion whether she minds riding backward – and if she does, to make a place at her side. The window seat would naturally belong to her – unless she prefers the other.”

– Emily Post’s Etiquette (1945 Edition)

There seems some pretty specific rules of train riding etiquette back in 1945 and I can’t help but think we could all use some more of it. The latest edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette seems to keep things a bit more simple…

On Seat Mates…

“Hogging space is a major breach of etiquette. Don’t put a suitcase on the seat next to you to keep another passenger from sitting there; use the overhead racks for your luggage. You may be sitting for hours with a seat mate so it’s nice to exchange a few pleasantries, but don’t spend the trip chatting unless the person is clearly interested.”

– Emily Post’s Etiquette (18th Edition)

Please, please brush up on your people reading skills before jumping on a train. Now you may be super chatty, but I am an introvert. I don’t like to spend a lot of time chatting. Some signs I am not interested are

• Avoiding eye contact
• Very short responses to your questions (and then no engagement afterwards
• I have headphones in
• I am reading
• I am asleep

I can’t tell you how often people try to talk to me when I have both headphones in and am reading. No need to be rude, but if the person clearly doesn’t seem to recognise that you aren’t interested a simple “I am really sorry, but I would really just like to sit and read my book quietly.” will do.

On Cell Phone Use….

“Unlike airline passengers, people on trains and buses are usually permitted to use cell phones. However, a growing number of train and bus lines are posting notices discouraging cell phone use. Some train services have introduced “quiet cars” where cell phones and other noise making devices are prohibited.

As in all public places or where there’s a captive audience, keep calls brief and speak quietly. No one minds calls advising others of delays and changes in schedules. Even then, try to move to the rear of the train car or wait for a rest stop when travelling by bus.”

– Emily Post’s Etiquette (18th Edition)

Personally I always, ALWAYS have my mobile switched to silent when I am on the train. It vibrates instead. Other peoples super loud annoying ring tones get in my head. I also would really love to not have to hear your fight with your other half while travelling. Other no-no’s include playing your music without your headphones in…not everyone is into women hating rap music believe it or not.

Finally some do’s and don’ts…

“• If you sit at one of the tables in the club car of a train, don’t monopolize it. Eat your meal, then return to your seat.
• If you prepack a meal or snack, be considerate of your fellow passengers and don’t choose things that have a strong smell or are likely to spill. And do clean up after yourself.
• Other than a quick swipe of lipstick or pass with a comb, take care of personal grooming in a restroom.
• When walking down the aisles, keep to the right if others are walking toward you. When you can, step into a vacant row when someone else is trying to pass.
• Watch your children. Don’t let them run about or bother other passengers.”

– Emily Post’s Etiquette (18th Edition)

Lastly a very important Q&A

“If passing a woman in a narrow corridor of the train, what should I do so that she may pass without coming into close contact with me?

You step into an empty compartment if there is one, or, if there isn’t, you flatten yourself, face inward, against either wall.”

– Amy Vanderbilt’s Everyday Etiquette: Answers to Today’s Etiquette Questions (1956)

Miss Fairchild xoxo

Stay Tuned for more in the travel series….

** Edited to add – Definition of what a “Bogan” is can be found HERE