Take them with a shot of tequilla and a lick of salt!
Things have been quite slack here on the blog. Just after I got through the worst of my own depression, one of our 9yo twins was diagnosed with depression.
Hubby had already insisted we take her to see a doctor and a psychologist…but I was in denial. I was sure it was just typical spectrum stuff (we have three girls on the autism spectrum – including here). With hubby and the doctor being concerned our pediatrician squeezed us in to have her official autism assessment (that was just the official stuff…really we have known for years). After she had talked with Miss A she sat us down and confirmed that she was indeed “clinically depressed”. At that point I had to stop the denial and help her.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression at aged 12. By that time I had been full time carer of my mum for almost 3 years, had chronic insomnia for 3 years, battled with chronic school bullying, dealing with my dad leaving, caring for a newborn (my brother) and I was being sexually abused by my step father. Looking at that – it’s no wonder I was depressed. I was dealing with more than any 12yo should have to deal with. Even knowing as much I as I do about mental illness, even knowing that it isn’t always triggered by anything (it can just be hereditary and hormonal), even knowing that we do everything we can to provide a stable, loving home for our girls….I still couldn’t accept that my child was depressed for “no reason”.
Later that day – as I stumbled through the day completely numb – a “concerned friend” expressed her opinion that the only reason Miss A was depressed, was that I was modelling depression to her. It was exactly what I was already afraid of. Having it vocalized by someone else just made me more sure that I was the cause.
*cue shame spiral*
Since then things have been rough. I have accepted she is depressed and we are getting help. She has a lovely therapist who is well versed in the spectrum stuff (my girls, like many kids on the spectrum, cannot vocalise emotional stuff…), we have been working on talking more about feelings with her, giving her as much love and support as she needs and doing stuff as a family to get her back into engaging with us all. I feel like we are making progress.
But that leaves me with little time, energy or motivation for this blog. Which is a shame as I have even more new books I want to share!
Hopefully you all understand and will be here when I get back. Until then “wise words” and “sunday best” will hopefully still go up each week to give you something to look at.
A big thanks to all those lovelies who have been such an amazing support through this time.
Miss Fairchild xoxo