For quite some time I have planned on having nude portraits taken or painted. I have come a very long way in my body acceptance journey and I just felt this was the next step. Of course I knew (being a photographer myself) there would be flattering poses and beautiful lighting and while I would insist on no photoshop, I knew that I would still be looking at a manipulated version of myself to show me in the very best way. The problem with this (for me – everyone is entitled to their own self acceptance journey) is that it wouldn’t help with my body dysmorphia. Yes fat women get it too (I also had anorexia but was encouraged to keep going as I was still fat), in fact I think fat women can feel it even more.
Then one day I was sitting at home in the nude (if I am home I am almost always naked) and the rain started. The rain always improves my mood. More than any antidepressant on the market. When it rains I often feel the need to go sit in the rain or walk barefooted through the soft wet grass. But this time…this time I wanted to run around naked.
Then I asked hubby to photograph me. He seemed a bit confused and wanted me to come inside and get dry in case I get sick. We also have no front fence and I didn’t go around the side of the house meaning anyone driving by or walking by or my neighbours who could see into my yard could see me. He was worried about someone calling the cops on me. I didn’t care. In that very moment I loved my body.
Then I shared it on instagram. I’m sure I scared some people and certainly challenged some peoples belief of who should and shouldn’t be able to be seen naked. But I mainly got overwhelming support. Until of course it was reported and taken down. At first I was angry. But mostly I just never thought that my naked body in a very non sexual photo would be against the rules. I just didn’t think. But here at my blog…things are different. Here, I run the show. So if a fat, stretchmarked, non perfect body offends you – time to look away folks!
Saggy boobs – by breastfeeding twins for a year
Stretchmarks – by 4 pregnancies and growth spurts when young
70’s bush (thinning) – by me not giving a fuck about pubic hair
Smile – letting go
So lovelies – what are you (not) wearing this Sunday?